The 10 Commandments of How to Avoid a Divorce

How to Avoid a Divorce

After 25 years of married life, and observing many marriages, partings, and divorces, I have found 10 points to avoid a divorce. These might aid you to reach the point where you want to save your marriage with your existing partner, or they will help you in your next marriage.

Why a divorce should be avoided?

A Marriage is a sacred thing, it is a blessing of God that saves human beings from a lot of sins, troubles, dangers, and diseases. Marriage is the correct and safe way to fulfill natural sexual desires. An unmarried life is an incomplete life. A house without kids is an empty house. Momentary sex with a person of the opposite sex will give only momentary satisfaction, which soon converts into depression and frustration, whereas married faithful couples enjoy safe and satisfying sex for years. A married couple lives more than an unmarried couple. Unmarried couples who live together, don’t trust each other fully, they feel unsecured, uncertain of their relationship, they leave each other more frequently and sooner than married couples.

The following are the 10 points that will  secure your marriage from the dangers of  Divorce:

1. Sort time to attach adoringly to your spouse daily

A couple can meaningfully increase the probabilities of matrimonial success by dedicating a minimum of 20 minutes a day entirely to each other. For example, you could get up a little before, and use your spare time in bed hugging, kissing, and restating your love for each other. Spend time every day to have significant talks with each other, to listen with the same concentration as when you were dating, to be in contact with, cuddle, and show affection, to convey each other how you think about your marriage and to dialog about your aims for the marital lives. Praise your partner frequently—both in isolation and before others. Even if your mate appears nervous or signs it off at first, the radiance from genuine admiration persists a long time.

 2. Love your partner the way he/she wishes to be loved

We usually think that the effects that we like very much will touch our spouse equally. For example, you may consider Gold jewelry is the best gift, but to your partner, it may signify a waste of money. If you don't identify, learn what your spouse longs for, and then bring it with love—and no remarks about how "senseless" it is to want a mobile tool, a candle lunch in the living room or a chicken sandwich. Remember the finest gift is somewhat your partner wishes—not just something you desire him/her to take.

3. Pay attention to your look

Appear you’re finest for your partner. Don’t wear the clothes your spouse dislikes so much, wear the dress which your partner likes very much. This also means taking care of your fitness—as well as eating correctly and working out frequently.

4. Stay loyal

A high percentage of divorces are the result of unfaithfulness. Marriage is a long-term obligation to a person. The couples who are faithful and truthful to each other an enormous 90 percent of them are happily married even after 50 years.

5. Sort out things composed

An additional important factor of longstanding happy marriages is that the spouses often see things together that they determine exciting and enjoyable. Whether that’s dancing, jogging, playing video games, swimming, or driving, contribute in no less than one activity that you together like every week. If you have children, many of these activities are for you and your spouse only.

 6. Pass your time separately

You take a cooking course whereas your partner does running, you play cards and your partner watch movies. You don't have to like everything your partner likes, but you do have to permit your spouse the liberty to follow valued interests. An extra advantage is that separate comforts can create interest between you.

7. Be friends with your spouse

The key to spousal pleasure and success is an alliance. Some of the most vital features of this bond are knowing each other warmly, proving warmth and esteem for each other on a regular basis, and frankly adoring each other's company.

8. The Footings of Compliment

 Floras, chocolates, valentines, and gifts are all superb gestures of adoration, but you need to do certain marriage-saving steps. Couples should discuss the fundamentals of their affiliation in a yearly agreement—or at least to illuminate them. The majority of quarrels that break up marriages are over sexual roles and money, don’t let disbeliefs result in distress. Marriage is like any other bond: its positions and circumstances must be revised and modernized.

 9. Say "I love you" daily

This is particularly essential when you're not sensing the impression of love at these times, you have to keenly create it. Saying those magic words, and carrying out heartfelt signs, will warm both you and your partner's souls.

10. Think about your Kids

Kids play a major role in saving a marriage, the couples with kids are more responsible and compromising than couples without kids. Raising Kids is a wonderful experience and it is a basic instinct in all living things. When you have kids, feelings of love, patience, sacrificing, to do something for others to develop in your heart. Parents think about the future of their kids, the separation or divorce creates such a gap in the psychology of kids which can never be fulfilled. A kid needs both the love of a mother and the protection and guidance of a father. Kids with a single parent can never get love, attention, and protection which is his/her right. When a dispute occurs, please think that a divorce will destroy the lives of your kids. The incidents of sexual harassment of kids by their stepfathers are not uncommon. Similarly, stepmothers can never treat kids with the same love and care with which they treat their own kids. Before giving a divorce to your spouse be sure that you are doing badly to your kids by taking their mother or father away from them. The kids who have been raised by a single parent can never be good parents themselves. Because the emptiness of their life remains with them throughout their life. 

Life is a gift of God. Marriage is a way to live life fully, happily, and enjoyably. A divorce is an option that only should be considered when all other options to save the marriage have already

been tried. If you think that it is dangerous and intolerable to continue a marriage only then think about the divorce otherwise try to avoid it at any cost, for the sake of yourself and your kids.

Divorce is not liked in the Religion of Islam, It is allowed only and only if the situation is so worse that it can lead to the danger of life to the married partners. Before it is recommended in Holy Quran to try to gather the elders which want to solve the issue between a married couple,  from both the man and woman side, they should try to resolve the issue before it leads to divorce.